Here goes mine: BYU student ward. You know how it is. Some strange ducks.
One particular fellow stands up to give a talk and says, into the microphone, "Excuse me just a minute I have to call my girlfriend, she really wants to hear this :::dialing on his cell phone::: awkward pause:::whispering into the phone::: "oh, hey babe....yeah....I'm starting now."
Then he proceeds to lay his cell phone down on the pulpit so she can hear his every inspired word. So the worst part--after he closes his talk--he lifts his cell phone to his ear and whispers, "Ok, babe. Love you. Bye."
I might add, in this case, girlfriend is most likely "girlfriend" in quotations. Let's just say I had my suspicions. Like I said, odd duck.
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20 comments:
Ha ha ha! I totally remember that and still to this day I crack up about it. I would have loved to see/meet his "girlfriend". :)
Oh man I love this post! Great BYU story, and yes, there are a lot of odd ducks here!
Ok, here's mine. So I was attending the student ward in Boise. The meeting was coming to an end and we were singing the closing hymn. The person who was asked to give the prayer was on the front row next to his fiance who was ever so kindly scratching his back as he hunched over.
The hymn ends and there is a long awkward pause where everyone's eyes turn to the guy who is supposed to give the closing prayer. His fiance looks over at him and gives him an elbow in his side. He jumps up and walks quickly to the pulpit and begins his prayer..."Oh God, the Eternal Father," I think to myself oh that's strange, he's starting his prayer like the sacrament prayer...he continues "we ask thee in the name of thy Son"...he finally realizes and stops. Then in the silence there are loud bursts of laughter sporadically throughout the congregation.
He then started again with "Our dear Heavenly Father..." but no one was really over his first prayer and we were all fighting back laughter, which just makes things worse (and louder when it finally comes out!) Bad news! But it was hilarious!
I'm gonna make this easy:
http://ajesplin.blogspot.com/2008/08/inappropriate-laughter.html
Ashley-- I knew I could count on you to back me up! Did this really happen? or has this become more elaborate in my mind over the years?
Stephanie- Classic!! that is hilarious! Wish I could have been a witness.
Jenny- I actually thought of your little fairy when I wrote this and burst out laughing. Your post is in my top 10 favoritest things I've ever read.
K, so this may not be the MOST awkward one I have ever heard, but since it just happened this past Sunday, its fresh in my mind ;)
This tall kid with spikey Bart Simpson hair who is like thirty years old got up and bore his testimony about Michael Jackson. He started out talking about how when he was eighteen he knew he should go on a mission and was planning to, but really didn't want to and thought of it as door-to-door salesmen. Then he went to an MJ concert and the 'We Are the World' part totally inspired him and made him see what missionary work was really about. That was all good and well for a beginning, but his WHOLE testimony was about MJ and he went for like ten minutes. He went on about how MJ went through some rough and unfair things in his life but he just kept pushing on and was going to do the comeback tour, a tour which this kid had tickets to go and see in London and he was absolutely devastated by his death. He said he knows that MJ is in a better place now and is continuing his good work on the other side.
I think the real kicker though was when he started comparing the MJ memorial to Conference- he said the memorial was the most inspiring thing he had ever seen and then said something like, 'I mean, Conference is great and all, but only like six or seven million people watched Conference and a billion people watched the memorial.' We were all sort of looking around at each other awkwardly like, is this kid for real? He was soooooo passionate about it that you had to feel for him. You had to feel for the Bishop too because the look on his face was, 'ummm, so, at what point if he doesn't stop on his own should I ask him to wrap it up?' Pretty memorable.
WHAT THE HECK!?! WEIRD!
That is one of the most memorable talks ever for me! It is one of those stories that I think wow that really happened. I am still laughing so hard!
So last sunday (general conference)...my mother in law was in town, she babysat the kids while we went to the Saturday night session. We sat by an odd, odd duck-really stiff and stern looking, in the single's ward. I was rubbing Ben's back-nothing crazy. Is that wrong? He leaned over to me after about 5 minutes and loudly-about 5 rows of people heard-said "Would you please refrain from massaging your husband's back until after the meeting?" I felt like yelling back, we're married. we have kids. but it probably would have made it worse...
I mean stake conference, story's the same.
Soooo awkward!! Gotta love those single's ward testimony meetings. My favorite was when a whole apt of girls would get up and bear their testimony about how much they love their roommates! Those were super spiritual.
Why do all the awkward mtgs seem to happen at the Y? In one of my single wards a girl got up to bear her tetimony and proceeded to sing the entire hymn "I know that my redeemer lives".
This whole thread CRACKS ME UP! I can't believe your story, lol. I know I have some weird ones though I can't remember the specifics now. I have an almost funny one from college -singles ward at the Y I was giving a talk and after I laid down the law there was this ginormous clap of thunder and I made a face like "see, heaven's got my back" and the whole place busted up. It was one of my finest moments. Obviously what I say goes. Now if I could only get that to happen with my children- "clean your room!" would be so much more effective if followed by a pee-your-pants clap of thunder :)
Wow-And this was our church?????
I'm glad he had that girlfriend because there was no way anyone in that audience would have jumped in for all...that!
So this one time at the beginning of the year a girl on our BYU singles ward was teaching a lesson on trials and she said something like, "you know when you pray for someone to go through some really hard trials, so they can learn to be humble??" We were all like, 'is she for real?' After a couple of her lessons, people stopped being surprised by crap like that and I think she was released. weird. :)
Oh.my.gosh! That is too funny.
Carrie I feel for you, same thing happened to me and a friend at general conference! Ummm I can't remember what was entirely said but our first sunday in our ward a guy said, "I don't usually tell people this"....(this is never a good start) but I see spirits and told us he went to where the shooting happened in Trolley Square in SLC and he could see all the bad and good spirits there. It was very interesting.
Jana I'm praying this didn't happen in our Marin ward. I'd be devastated if I missed it.
A few weeks ago a really nice, but kind of weird 40-something-never-married-guy that looks like Newman on Seinfeld spoke. It was on pioneers and was pretty interesting. Out of nowhere in the middle of his talk, he quit speaking and walked over to the side of the podium.
From there he busted out an accordion and proceeded to play "Come Come, Ye Saints." After he was done with the song, he put the accordion back down, walked back to the pulpit and continued with his talk.
I was begging people to make eye contact with me, but couldn't find a taker. Probably better that way.
I have a million of these types of stories. It's shameful, really.
Once, a woman got up in a testimony meeting and said that she knew all the women in the ward hated her because she was so beautiful. And, then plead with the ward to accept her beauty.
Once, a woman wandered in off the street during a testimony meeting, went to the pulpit, and launched into the COOLEST f-word filled rant I have EVER heard.
Once, a woman bore her testimony that she knew the millenium had started because Clinton had just been elected.
I could go on and on . . .
This was so funny I had to read the comment thread too. I can't believe all these crazy things have happened!
I think the worst one for me was a Sunday School class where the teacher taught about how we shouldn't be judgmental. She spent the whole class (yeah, the hour plus some) telling us how some of the most uplifting music she'd ever heard was in the middle of heavy metal songs with bad language and that we shouldn't discount something just because some of it is bad (and this could apply to R rated movies too). The bishop was on the front row and we kept waiting for him to say something but he just looked uncomfortable.
Jana, I had to stop and say hi. Very cute blog - funny church stories. Oh, in our last ward sometimes we called testimony the "wild west" because sometimes a few people would get up and say the craziest things.
Who took your family photo on your header? It is so cute.
Talk to you later...
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